Cuba Missiles

We está en Communist Cuba. Fak u

Owned by Alex Gomez

Colors: Gray, Red, Blue

Head Coach: Torque (Construction Noise) Lewith

Mascot: Alfredo the Cuban Cigar and his Mariachi Dancers

Minor League Affiliate: North Korea Nukes

Retired Numbers: 1 (Fidel Castro), 2 (Raul Castro), 59 (Cuban Revolution), 67 (Che Guevara)

Stadium
Fidel Castro Parque de Beisbol (Castro Stadium), Havana, Cuba

Seating: 59,000 (denoting Cuban Revolution)

Grass-type: Bermuda grass

Roof: Open

Dimensions: Left Field, 270 feet, wall 15 feet high. Center Field, 380 feet, wall 25 feet high. Right Field, 315 feet, wall 5 feet high.

Features: Big screen, Cuban flags everywhere, Snipers, and Family-friendly fun!!! Also, the field concourses are called Castro Concourses, the grandstand is called the Castro Grandstand, the luxury boxes are called the Castro Luxury Boxes, the exclusive club is called the Castro Club, the ballpark is catered to by Castro Foods, Inc., and there is even a museum dedicated to Fidel Castro. After every home run, Alfredo and his Dancers run onto the field and dance to the Fidel Castro song, with fighter jets flying over the stadium and fireworks and snipers firing into the sky. Along with that, there is a 25-foot-tall statue of Fidel Castro with a AK-47 in left field. If a player hits a home run that hits the statue, he will be hailed as a Cuban national hero and gets the Fidel Castro Medal as well as a free citizenship of Cuba (you aren't allowed to leave).

Head Coach
Honorary: Fidel Castro

Current: Torque (Construction Noise) Lewith

Resumé: Served in Nevada State Penetentiary for three years after feds raided his house (and may or may not have found him in a bathtub full of crack; Lewith claims that it was snow and that he was making a snowman like any other kid would). After a brief jailyard football career, he escaped to Cuba.

Roster
Overall Payroll: $215.9 Million (Spent $20 Million in trades)

Starting RHP:

#31 Carmelo Hooton, UCLA RHP. 10-10-10-10-10-4.5=54.5, Charismatic. $17.0 Million (5) (+ DL 30)(Restructured)

#18 Amos Washington, Indiana RHP. 9.5-8-9.5-8.5-8.5-10.5=54.5, Hardworking. $17 Million (6)

#54 Lynn Sydow, Florida Gulf Coast RHP. 8-8-7.5-7.5-8-8=47, Charismatic. $8.7 Million (4)

#49 Vincenzo Berlin, Kansas RHP. 10-1-3-10-4-10=38, Reliable $.7 Million (3)

Starting LHP:

#52 Mohamed Mitchell, Cal State Fullerton LHP. 7-8-9.5-11-7-9=51.5, Ambitious. $10.5 Million (3)

#36 Isy Roberts, North Carolina LHP. 7.5-7.5-6-9-7.5-8.5=46, Calm. $6.6 Million (6)

#61 Hirano Hasegawa, Aomori HS (Japan) LHP. 8-10-8-9-6-8=49, Calm. $12.0 Million (3)

Relieving RHP:

#57 Cole Efron, Illinois RHP. 7-6.5-10-3-5-9=40.5, Lazy. $1.9 Million (4)

#35 Cary Beggs, Xavier RHP. 6-6-6-4-5-6=33, Unreliable. $0.2 Million (3)

Relieving LHP:

#19 Keith McLead, NC State LHP. 10-10-9.5-4.5-8-10=52, Ambitious**. $11.5 Million (5) (Restructured)

#17 Ilan Nova, Iowa. 8-8-7-2-5-7.5=37.5 Hardworking. $.2 Million (3)

#37 Beau Dennis, Middle Tennessee St. LHP. 5-10-4.5-4-4-8=35.5, Charismatic. $0.2 Million (1)

C:

.#33 Mark Grosse, LSU C. 6.5-5-7-9-6-7=40.5, Disliked. $2.2 Million (3) (+ DL 30)

#5 Truman Blazer, Washington C. 5.5-8.5-5-6-6-7=38, Clutch $0.7 Million (5)

.#41 Kendal Brazier, Army C. 5.5-5-6-5-6.5-7=35, Humble. $0.2 Million (4)

1B:

#32 Chase Vanderpleog, Kentucky 1B. 9.5-10-10-11-1.5-10=52, Clutch. $17.1 Million (3)

2B:

#13 Antonio Spiller, Stanford 2B. 9-9-9-10-9.5-8=54.5, Intelligent. $15.9 Million (4)

.#9 Marshall Keyser, Elon 2B. 7-5.5-6-6-7.5-7=39, Ambitious. $0.2 Million (3)

SS:

#7 Julio McGray, Wichita St SS. 9-6-10-10-10-7=52, Calm. $18.0 Million (4)

3B:

#15 Tristan Atkins, Arizona 3B. 6.5-7-7.5-7.5-8.5-7.5=44.5, Lazy. $6.0 Million (3)

#34 Scottie Alvarato, Florida St. 3B. 10-10-4-7-4-10=45, Humble. $5.3 Million (5)

.#29 Wilford Schneider, Howell HS-Missouri 3B. 7-7-6.5-6-5-5.5=37, Ambitious. $0.2 Million (4)

LF:

#24 Alanso Ramos, UNLV LF. 7.5-9-9-8.5-8-10=52, Clutch. $16.5 Million (5) (Restructured)

CF:

#3 Von Sandoval, Stanford CF. 10-7.5-8-10-10.5-8=54, Clutch. $17.0 Million (5) (Restructured)

RF:

#11 Kelvin DeSoto, Ohio St. CF. 7-7-7.5-8-8-7=44.5, Intelligent. (.5 fielding penalty for switching positions) $5.8 Million (5)

.#20 Jessie Tate, Indiana RF. 8.5-9-4-5-6-8.5=41. Charismatic. $2.6 Million (3)

.** Slightly greedy

Lineup
1. Julio McGray, SS

2. Von Sandoval, CF

3. Alanso Ramos, LF

4. Chase Vanderploeg, 1B

5. Scottie Alvarato, DH

6. Antonio Spiller, 2B

7. Kelvin DeSoto, RF

8. Tristian Atkins, 3B

9. Truman Blazer, C

Rotation
1. Amos Washington

2. Mohamed Mitchell

3. Hirano Hasegawa

4. Lynn Sydow

5. Isy Roberts

(6. Vincenzo Berlin)

Long Relief
Vincenzo Berlin

Middle Relief
Cary Beggs

Beau Dennis

Setup
Cole Efron

Ilan Nova

Closer
Keith McLead